spookss

So a lot of stuff has happened since my last entry with substance (the one before last)... I need to get back into my writing habit, i can keep up with it consistently for like a month before i drop it again T_T. Anyways first things first, I finally quit my job!! They tried to move me to the front to be a cashier without telling me, so i put it my two weeks and said I couldnt work on weekends so they said you can just go ahead and go. I literally feel like im a bird thats been let out of a cage, I HATED MY JOB. I still need money for the summer though, so my grandparents are letting me work for them taking care of their garden and their flowers (which is super fun btw) and I got a lot of graduation money. oh yeah i graduated too, so thats cool.

Honestly graduation was really boring... im an online student so while i had friends there i didnt really know a lot of people, so the speeches and stuff about going to high-school just didnt resonate with me much. id comfortably say my high school experience has been unique, shit even my middle school experience was pretty weird. but anyways after graduation i hung out with my friends, and then hung out with them again the next day cause lee had a grad party. It was overall fun and im glad to be done with high school, its time for my last free summer baby!! OH and prom went well, i had a ton of fun.

I finished my tie blanket, and i finished this book ive been reading on and off for awhile. im still lacking in the hobby department (of course) but i have been coping with lifes general crapiness by hanging out with my friends. I went to Las Vegas with Lee and we went to omegamart and holy carp i loved it so much. i literally spent all of my vacation money at omegamart.... all of it. we had vip passes (GOD BLESS YOU LEES MOM) and so we got to complete the entire story line and did this scavenger hunt and got a pin and bracelet you can only get by completing the scavenger hunt. we did other stuff there too but omegamart was def my fav part.

Ive been hanging out with a friend everyday for like... more than a week. its insane, but ive been having problems with my family again so ive been trying to get out of the house badly. but we've been doing lots of stuff and its been super fun, lots of swimming and such. im actually having my birthday party this saturday, though my birthday is actually the 3rd this is just the only time i could get all of my friends together. its weird, being so old. anyways this has been in my drafts for almost 2 weeks so recap OVER.

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Down For - Kitty Craft

So i have prom tomorrow (technically today... i should really be sleeping) and while i think itll be fun and everyone will have a good time, ive got some worries. For some context me and my friend Lee have known each other for a long ass time. weve been besties since elementary basically, and while i love her so much, i do have some beef with her that i havent gotten to talk about. the thing is even though i have beef, i can still be friends with her and hang with her, cause we rarely hang out nowadays and im js trying to enjoy my time with her until she goes to college in Colorado. this cannot be said for my other friend titus though. Me and titus have been friends for like 2 years now? something like that, but we have gotten really super close over these past few months. and i love titus but when bro gets upset its hard for them to crawl away from that feeling, especially when they're upset at someone specific, and titus definitely has some beef with lee.

They both have their faults, lee can be a jerk and so can titus, and that would be fine if they could actually TALK to each other about this stuff. Titus grew up in an environment where they NEEDED to be loud and out there to be heard, but lee crumbles and gets extremely upset when someone BARELY raises their voice at her. titus needs to talk more calmly and lee needs to be able to handle volume without crashing. I relate to lee though, i used to be that way with my dad, but its to a point where you literally cant talk to her (no matter the volume of your voice) because she will just be upset. But this shit sucks to be in the middle of, i hang out with titus a lot and titus will complain a lot about lee, and to some extent i get it but literally ALL of their issues would be solved if bro was able to talk to her.

anyways prom is tomorrow and lee will be there (me and titus are going together cause we dont have partners) and she asked if we wanted to hangout after prom at her house (with three other people we know too). and idk,, titus has been having a hard time lately and i worry that something is gonna lead to an argument. im really hoping not PLEASE just let us have fun, but damn its a bit worrying

ill post a more documentative writing soon,, i havent rlly had much motivation.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Officer - Slightly Stupid

this last week has been surprisingly good for me. last week i started working on my website again and ive been making decent progress! im happy its becoming something more consistent and not just a one off project im only passionate about for a day. its honestly really easy to get in the groove of learning new html and practicing once i actually just start, i can sit there for hours and just code. im still learning though so i havent made much in terms of actual substance on my website, but its a start lol.

ive also started reading before bed which is good. im hoping to start doing more crochet or drawing next, i have some shows that i need to watch actually and that would be the perfect opportunity to crochet. anyways other than that my week has been good i would say. i kinda had a shitty day yesterday, i didnt do anything but rot in bed after work. i was upset about it for a while, but i thought about it and its okay. i cant expect myself to be completely okay every day, especially since im coming out of a depression and some pretty traumatic stuff happened to me. so i forgive myself for rotting for a day, i did so well the rest of the week and i deserve some lenience i think.

i also got my 'treat of the month' which is just one thing i buy for myself each month or so. i got this game called vintage story, it started out as a minecraft mod so its a little similar but its waaay more complex and honestly i think looks a lot nicer. ive only played a little of it, its hard to know how to start when your new with such a complex game. i honestly might watch another persons tutorial to begin, on one hand i dont want to spoil anything as its probably more rewarding to find it out yourself, but also i feel like rainworld had a similar premise and i watched TONS of videos on rainworld before i played and i still enjoyed it a ton lol.

Current Mood: satisfied
Current Music: Fire Water Burn - Bloodhound Gang

i went back to work yesterday! i got some good tips and it wasnt as busy as i thought it would be. nobody really asked about me not being there, a few people did but most didnt really seem to notice or care. im not upset about it, but its interesting to see how much i really dont matter in the work place. like there wouldnt be much of a difference wether im there or not. which is honestly just more motivation to find a new job, even if i dont matter there either id like to find somewhere more interesting to work. i used to like the socialization that came with my job, i got to talk to a lot of new people and make some cool friends. but recently ive just been spacing out while at work, barely able to socialize, my brain just kinda shuts off. i also figure i can get that socialization at almost any other job, with more stimulation too; sacking just becomes numbing at some point.

ive started learning html and css again. im starting from scratch, and ive been making pretty good progress so far. i just have a page on my website that im using as practice while i go through lessons, im really happy i decided to just start doing it because its so easy to pick up again. i need to do the same with other stuff too, my list right now is reading, writing, crocheting, cooking, drawing, and scrapbooking esc. activities. i have this journal that looks super old and cool, it uses recycled paper and you can see the binding on the back of the cover, which is leather. it reminds me of a pirates log, i really love the design but havent really written much in it. right now i just keep stickers and pictures in between the pages but id like to glue them on and actually use them as decoration. i think once i pick up drawing again and get consistent enough with writing here ill take on that challenge.

things have been looking up these past few days, i found a new band i like, im back to work, my grades have been pretty good, im starting to work with html again, and ive generally been feeling alright. im hoping the motivation im getting from coding will kickstart some motivation for the other things i wanna get to, but im gonna try and be careful not to burnout. looking forward to this upcoming week, i wanna see what i can get done ^^.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Tonight (feat. Yoshinori Aoki) - Kitty Craft

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February 2026

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