officially burnt the fuck out

[spookss]

My last entry feels like yesterday, im not spacing out i am literally IN space. its so hard for me to just be present, and lord is it affecting my memory. i couldnt tell you a single thing ive done this week let alone last or any before that. its so hard to just. think. i cant think at all and i dont know how to start doing it again. i feel so gone, i often slip up when i talk by misremembering or pronouncing things incorrectly. when i talk to people at my work i dont even know how im responding until after ive done so and i fully realize what ive said, my own voice sounds strange to me. i dont have the energy to do anything, even the thought of doing anything makes me tired. i dont want to play games or crochet or code or read or draw, shit i dont even want to doomscroll or watch youtube. i just want to sleep. im not suicidal or thinking about self-harm, i just want sleep. im in some slump i dont know how to get out of, and even if i did know i dont think id have the energy to do so.