spookss | wasted days

A little while ago i found a website that talked about Wiccan traditions and being a witch and ive been thinking about it every so often. The website was really detailed and answered a lot of good questions, i think i spent an hour or two reading through it and still didnt cover probably half the info. Im not a very religious person, ive never had any good experiences with religion. my grandma was catholic and when i lived with her i would always go to church on sundays and do other church stuff. the message never really spoke to me, and the services were long and boring, but i cant deny the church was beautiful and so were the hymns. the rest of my family is christian, and to be honest most christian services just feel like washed down versions of catholic services. anyways church was always boring to me as a kid, and the idea of god never really piqued my interest so i was never religious. but the wiccan website kinda just got me thinking about religion again. i cant remember my thoughts exactly but i was thinking about why so many people want a god. and it kinda clicked that one big appeal is that its just easy. its easy to have a god to put things onto. why decide what is right or wrong, why question why things are the way they are, people hate being confused and so having god is an easy give-all solution. obviously thats not the only appeal of god, but i thought about myself and wanting things to be easier in life. its hard to articulate myself on this, my mind cant formulate what im thinking into readable sentences, but i swear i have complex thoughts on the subject T_T.

my life has been filled with too much negativity recently. ive had a lot of shitty things happen, but im also doing a real shitty job at moving past those things and letting them be. thinking back on this last week the only things i have to talk about are being sick and hating work, because thats basically all my life is right now. being sick has made me really realize how i do almost nothing with myself. usually when im not sick i have my friends to go hang out with and distract myself, but ive been trapped at home so i dont have distractions anymore. the solution is, as it usually is, HOBBIES. i need to do things that are fulfilling, things that take effort (even if very minimal). im gonna try and push myself now, to do things i enjoy and to think more. im still struggling to just think, to be creative and alive, so i need to pursue my hobbies so i can oil my brain and get it functioning again. i need to write and to draw and to discover, and to CREATE. i have people who will support me and engage with me even, i just need to start doing it. i drew in my notebook today, and im kinda finally feeling happy with what im doing. this week i wanna focus on drawing and reading, and maybe start my tie blanket.

INSPIRATION FIND ME, FREE ME FROM MY CURSE.