spookss | obligatory entry

the come back is happening, very slowly, but its still happening. im doing okay with thinking and just- doing stuff. im still not as far as id like to be, and i hardly have any energy, but its a start and that good enough for now. im still really stuggling with just being bored, when im with friends im completely fine, but when im alone nothing seems to keep me entertained... again i need to get into my real hobbies again, no games are calling to me because i play them all by myself, and doom scrolling isint a hobby lol.

i played mario party with a few friends ago yesterday, i DEMOLISHED them of course. you have to travel around a map (like a board game, think sorry) and collect coins and stars, the person with the most stars wins. i ended the game with SIX stars and everyone else had 2 or 3. im always super fucking goated when it comes to mario party and i honestly have no clue why. im decent at the minigames, but that barely even matters as most of your stuff is luck related with moving around the board. i guess i just have hella good luck when it comes to star placement and movement rolls but DAMN. after that we got food and also some snacks, i had a lot of fun and i cant wait til we all hang out again :).

tomorrow is the start of my next working period, so i work saturday-tuesday, and im not looking foward to it of course. im honestly just tired of my job, i only really reallly like being around 2 of the 7 people who work there and they underpay the shit out of me for what i do. im doing like 3 different jobs and i absolutely do not get paid for that. also just.. the way they run things is so awful for the workers and the company ITSELF is awful. most days arent horrible perse, but its rare that i feel like i actually have a good day let alone a great one. theres also the fear that ill see him there, im still so super anxious about that. logically i know i prolly wont ever see him there, even if he lives right by the store he either A. wouldnt be coming in on the hours i work on the weekends, cause usually he sleeps in (and rarely leaves the house period) or B. would be at work on the weekdays so theres literally no way he would be there. and i would think he would avoid me, but despite all that i still get super anxious about it sometimes. even though i want to see him and talk to him, having that happen unexpectedly and at work would be awful haha.